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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
