mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
