You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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