Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
