he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize