first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
