Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize