I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
