So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
