We're like a lot better than the average bears
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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