i jhust puked up my retainher.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
