Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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