I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
