now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
its liver damage thursday
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
