I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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