You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
