guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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