we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
