explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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