I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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