Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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