i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
