her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
