either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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