Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
