she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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