Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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