come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
