You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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