I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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