OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just want to make out with him forever
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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