dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
