Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
