YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
