Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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