sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
