I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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