Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
