I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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