do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
