a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
