so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
