I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
