It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
