But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
