Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
