discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
tell me about the fingering
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
