I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize