ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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