Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize