What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
