Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
