You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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