so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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