in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
