just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
