Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Randomize
