Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
did i walk over a car last night?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
