so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Randomize
