if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
There's even glitter on my cock...
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