he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
