yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
