dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
