That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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