it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
