he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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